When George* was 14, his life seemed normal until his mother struggled with mental health and his father left the family. Feeling abandoned, George turned to online chat rooms for companionship. He was manipulated by an online predator who exploited him for explicit photos.
The police intervened and George was referred to our What is Sexual Exploitation (WiSE) project through children’s services, where he learned about grooming and received support. Despite his initial struggles, George’s engagement with WiSE helped him process his trauma. With support from his family and professionals, George now has an apprenticeship and has rebuilt his relationship with his father and half-sibling.
At 14, life for George seemed normal until everything changed
George had a normal life. He was doing well in school, his relationship with his dad was good and he had a lot of friends. His mum started to struggle with her mental health and he became more reliant on his father for adult guidance and support.
But then his father had an affair which eventually led him to leave George’s mother and, in turn, George. His relationship with his dad broke down and he struggled with his feelings towards his dad and the impact of their relationship breakdown. This left him feeling lonely.
He began spending more time isolated in his bedroom and started talking to people online through chat rooms and gaming sites. George saw these people as friends and felt listened to and cared about for the first time since his dad left.
There was a lack of money at home since his mum became a single parent and he missed the hobbies and outings that his dad used to treat him to. When George was asked if he wanted to earn some money by someone he’d been talking with online, he thought that sounded appealing and would help him fund some of the things he wanted to do.
The man online had been reassuring George about his situation and how he felt about everything with his dad and established trust with George over time. Then he started asking George for photos in exchange for money.
The requests from the man initially felt easy for him to do and George felt he was benefitting. However, over time the photo requests became sexually explicit and when George tried to tell his abuser that he didn’t feel comfortable sending images of this nature, he was pressured. The man would threaten him about no longer being his friend or telling his school or even that he would come to his house and tell his mother.
George felt he had no choice but to comply to what this man asked of him. The more the sexual demands increased by this man online, so did the threats that George was blackmailed with, including the threat of sharing the photos online.
The police intervened and George was referred to our WiSE project
The police were aware of this man through the activity from the IP address and through exploring this, they were aware that he was exploiting children online. The police were able to link him to George and get George the protection and care that he needed.
Once George was referred to Children’s Social Services, he was then referred to our WiSE service. With the team, he was able to explore subjects which included how perpetrators manipulate and coerce behaviour through conversations and building friendships (known as the grooming process).
To begin with, George struggled with the loss of what he believed was another meaningful relationship in his life. He started acting out, his behaviour became more anti-social and he was getting into trouble.
There was a turning point for George when he was physically assaulted by one of his peers. After this, his engagement within the sessions with our WiSE practitioner became more purposeful. George was directing the conversation with questions on subjects he wanted to explore further. WiSE helped him to process his experience of grooming and the tactics used by perpetrators to build trust and ultimately make a child feel trapped once the abusive intentions of the perpetrator become clear.
George began to engage with YMCA WiSE and things start to look up for him
He was able to see how peers had encouraged behaviour which he’d taken part in to fit in and be accepted but, once again, it was not what he really wanted to be doing. Over time, George was able to recognise the abuse he had experienced and talk to our WiSE practitioner about the impact of his trauma.
With the support of his wider family, professional network including the WiSE practitioner, he now sees value in himself for what he is doing. He has an apprenticeship and has built up his relationship with his father and half sibling.
George sent a text message to the WISE practitioner six months after work had been completed saying: “Thank you for all the support you gave me. I would not be where I am today, happy, if it had not been for you.”
*Name and photo have been changed to protect this young person
You can find out more about YMCA WiSE here
If you are a young person and need support, you can see how we can help you here, you can also find online support here.
